My Journey

This journey has had highs and lows, tears and smiles, struggles and achievements. My journey did not start at the beginning of this semester or this class. It began years ago when I recognized that I have privilege and others do not. I remember the day; I was a naïve 18-year-old. I believed that everything I had achieved was because I was a hard worker. Never had I considered that my skin colour played any role in this. When I was first told that I was privileged based on my white skin, I was angry. How dare they say that I am where I am just because of my skin. This anger and denial held on for a while until I started getting glimpses of where my privilege was and more specifically, where others privilege wasn’t. I would hear about the struggles of others and it saddened me. But, when it came down to it, I didn’t offer help and I always found an excuse for why that person struggled. I was trying to avoid the real reason, their skin colour. Along my journey, I learned the truth about so many horrendous oppressions that Indigenous peoples have been through; residential schools, the sixties scoop, betrayal, broken promises, racism, murder, and cultural appropriation. When learning about this dirty history that Canada likes to sweep under the rug, I still did not see the connection to the present. I felt terrible that these things had happened but I didn’t know why it mattered today. I lived with the mindset that everyone had to move on. Eventually, after more learning, hearing personal survivor stories, and plenty of reflection, I am seeing that the connection between past and present is everything. I can see the intergenerational trauma that still exists in the lives of my Indigenous students. I can feel their fear of the education system. I can recognize the institutional racism that has been built here in Canada.

Can I fix these things?

No, alone, I cannot.

Does that mean I should do my best to make sure that my Indigenous students and their families feel safe in my classroom?

Yes, it absolutely does.

Does that mean that I should still spread awareness and educate those who are still seeing the white side of the story?

Yes, it absolutely does.

People may get angry, but I can’t blame them for that.

Why? Because that was me a few years ago.

 

I was prompted to display my learning in any way I found fit. At first, I had no idea how to symbolize such a multifaceted journey. This is what I came up with…

Each aspect of this visual representation of my journey is symbolic in some way to my learning.

• Every Child Matters – a phrase that drives my teaching and my mindset. Nothing is truer than this statement.
• We Are All Treaty People – no matter where you live in Canada, you are a treaty person. It does not matter if your home is on treaty land or not, as a Canadian person you are a treaty person.
• As Long as the Sun Shines, Grass Grows, and River Flows we are all Treaty People – included the sun, grass, and river to show this connection between nature and our lives today and the promise of upholding the treaties.
• #MMIW – Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls are at the forefront of my fight for equality for all and justice for each life taken.
• Stepping Stones – my journey was not a linear or solid path, but a set of stepping stones. Some knowledge and learning came easy for me, others I was stuck on the stone for a long time before my path continued and another stepping stone appeared.
• Fire and Smoke – represents the sacred ceremonies that are based on respect. As Canadians, we need to learn from these sacred gatherings and show more respect for each other and nature.
• #NEXT150 – fighting to make sure that the next 150 years of Canada’s existence is better than the last. Making sure to leave behind the oppression and injustices that are faced by people every day.
• SASK – the beautiful land that I am fortunate enough to call home. Forever grateful for those Indigenous groups who signed the treaties and allowed this to become my home.
• We Care – a movement to show one’s promise to stand with Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls and their families.
• Treaty 4 – the land that I am lucky enough to call my home.
• 1874 – the year that Treaty 4 was signed and a promise was made between two nations.
• Treaty 4 Flag – melding the importance and connections between land, sun, sky, water, and animals.
• 1200+ – the number of Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls in Canada over the last 30 years. Mindblowing …
• School – a place where so many feel afraid based on past horrific events. Also, the place where I strive to make sure every child and family feel represented, safe, respected and loved.
• Strength – I am strong and I made it through.
• Our Youth Our Future – those kiddos that I am lucky enough to guide every day and the future. Real change lies in them.
• Miskasowin – this journey has led me to find my true self.
• Highway – my journey continues, it never ends.

It is hard to be on this journey because so many people do not understand. But, more than the hurt of being misunderstood, is the inspiration to keep fighting.

Another Stepping Stone

This weekend I am participating in an Educator/Colleague Treaty Walk. It is taking place in Fort Qu’Appelle Saskatchewan. I am going on this trip with little expectation and no itinerary. My only prediction is that it is going to be more impactful than I can even imagine.

I am so excited to share this experience with other future educators who are just as passionate about Indigenizing Education as I am. There is nothing stronger than a shared mission and passion. My passion, along with many other future educators from the University of Regina, is to fight the constant injustices that minorities face, specifically Indigenous peoples.

In my journey thus far, the biggest revelations are listed below:

• Seeing and accepting that I was privileged based on my settler status
• Acknowledging the systematic racism that exists
• Recognizing the importance of the Numbered Treaties
• Seeing the complete disregard that Canadians have for the treaties and Indigenous peoples’ treaty rights

These revelations have come in both tiny steps as well as leaps and bounds. It has been a journey that began four years ago. The journey began like a semi-truck running me over and disrupting every single thing that I believed up until that point. It has not been easy and my denial still kicks in sometimes. But, the difference now is that I have a passion to help, to fight, and to understand.

This treaty walk will be another stepping stone in my journey. I am unsure of the effects yet but I know it will only push my passion and drive me forward as an educator.

The Children

I am completely inspired by the hardworking teachers and their students who are constantly fighting to fill our country with authentic perspectives, real-life examples, and courage to fight racism and systematic oppression. Within the last week alone I have come across three separate videos that classrooms of children have planned, created, and shared with the world. Our students, with their brilliant minds, their creativity, and their compassion really are the future. I feel so extremely grateful that I will be able to soon spend my days with such inspiring youth. The videos I stumbled upon covered topics from treaty rights, to the education system, to healthcare; all of which are at the forefront of Canadian controversy and importance. Yes, these topics are controversial to some (why, I have no idea, its just money). But, these topics are also extremely important and pressing topics.

No, this battle of systematic racism that is so deeply rooted in Canadian institutions and culture is not an easy one. The Canada that I so badly dream of will never exist in my lifetime. The children who are fighting and advocating may not see how beautiful Canada could actually be if settlers forgot the stereotypes and stopped seeing skin colour as the most important thing.

So, to those students, who fight injustice, breakdown biases, disrupt Eurocentric views and inspire others, like myself, I give you a round of applause. Keep it up. This blog post is in appreciation of your hard work and unfaltering support of those who are disadvantaged in all aspects of their lives.

Teaching about Our Troubling Histories

I have been hearing a lot about when and how (and maybe even why) teachers should introduce and teach unsettling topics to their students. I feel as though teachers are scared to say the wrong thing or upset the wrong people. Yes, teaching students about delicate, but important histories is difficult. But, it is necessary.

A common thought held by many Canadians is ‘why don’t we just move on’. “If justice [and reconciliation] for Indigenous peoples lies in remembering, but forgetting serves the supposed needs of the Canadian nation, where are the possibilities for accomplishing justice to be found?” (Susan Dion, Braiding Histories). This means that while many Canadians wish to forget and move on, our Indigenous population needs this time to remember and grieve.  Our Indigenous families and children need to be given this time to remember what they lost and get justice for the many wrongdoings that were put on them.

It is the right of Indigenous peoples to remember their ancestry, fight for the justice of their peoples, and feel affirmation in their identity. That is a right. So, this is why we teach our students of Indigenous histories; to give our students and their families the opportunity to live out their rights.

The when and how of introducing these topics is the most controversial. When to introduce these topics depends on the students, the particular topic, and the curriculum outcome being taught. All of these variables can influence whether the unsettling topic should be taught to the students at that time. And when these topics are introduced and taught, they should be taught in incremental steps. Students need time to process these concepts and may require supports to do so.

Is this task an easy one? No. It requires the patience, the empathy, the understanding, and the knowledge of a strong and stable teacher.

Be that teacher for your students and their families.

What do treaties even have to do with Residential schools?

Everything.

 

I have heard this more times than I can remember. The connection is this: Education was promised to the Indigenous nations that signed the treaties. And going even deeper, all Indigenous children are Canadians. Canadian children are entitled to an education in Canada. If you don’t believe me check it out. So, what does this mean? It means that no matter if the provincial government or the federal government is funding the school, each child should receive the same education as the other. Because ‘Every Child Matters‘ right??

So when the treaties were first signed, what were they given?

Ding, Ding, Ding! We have a winner! Yes, they were forced into Residential schools to assimilate into Canadian society.

So, instead of offering Indigenous children and families a safe space and a culturally based curriculum, the Canadian government jammed as many Indigenous children as they could into the backs of pickup trucks and carried them away from their homes to the Nuns and Priests waiting for them.

To this day, Indigenous children who attend reserve schools receive less funding than those who attend public schools.

 

So, Federal Government, tell me this, is the land that you got access to thanks to the treaties not worth equality and effective education for Indigenous children? Are those children really worth less in your eyes? Otherwise, why would you ever give these children less money to educate them. You must have a reason.

 

We all know that “Every Child Matters”, but yet this is happening on the reserves next door.

What a contradictory country it is that I live in.

Connection to the Land

I love the feeling of cool dirt on my hands when I am planting a garden, when I am weeding my flower beds, and when I am transplanting my house plants. I love watching plants grow and providing them with what they require. I have a sense of pride in this.

I have always had a connection to the land. It began when I first loved playing in the trees behind my house. I loved the quiet and the security of the trees. I loved it when I watched the winter snow melt away down the creek beside my house. I loved it when I watched my mom and dad’s crops grow and eventually lead to a golden harvest. During these harvest days, I would enjoy the last days of warm sun and smell the rich dust that floated behind the combine. As I grew up I loved exploring, hunting, and quadding through the landscape; always so beautiful no matter the season. I loved the damp mud flying up on me as a drove my quad, the crunch of red leaves under my feet, and the rolling hills of my beautiful home. Yes, I have always had a connection to the land.

This connection to the land has always been a part of me. For this reason, I had always felt a deep sense of gratitude when acknowledging the land that I live on. In the beginning, I appreciated the land for its beauty and my personal connection to it. Now, after being educated about the treaty land that I live on and the Indigenous nations who called this land home long before I, a settler did, am so much more aware of the land. I no longer only appreciate my relationship with the land but feel gratitude and respect for the land in addition to those who have lived here in the past, present, and future.

I am a Treaty Person and so are you

We are all treaty people. I have heard this saying more times than I can remember. I have used this saying more times than I could count. While this phrase has meaning to me, many say it just to say it. To me, being a treaty person means the following:

• Acknowledgement that the land I call home is Treaty 4 territory.
• Acknowledgement of the Cree, Saulteaux, Dakota, Lakota and Nakota peoples of Treaty 4 territory as well as the 4 historically Métis communities in this region – Lebret, Fort Qu’Appelle, Willow Bunch, and Lestock.
• Instilling in my friends, family, and students a pride in being a treaty person.
• Respecting the land that I am lucky enough to live on.
• Respecting and advocating for the treaty rights of all individuals involved in the treaties.
• Always doing my best to work towards reconciliation.
• Sharing with anyone who will listen about how and why all Canadians are treaty people.
• Sharing with anyone who will listen about the respect that should be given to our treaties and treaty peoples.

So, if being a treaty person means those things to me, why is it that so many people say it just to say it? Why is there no feeling or emotion attached to those words? Because being a treaty person or ‘preaching’  to be a treaty person is popular. In today’s education, teachers and administrators are not only encouraged but mandated to teach treaties in the classroom. This means that everyone, even those teachers without the knowledge of what being a treaty person means, calls themselves treaty people. They think that that is enough. But, for that to be enough there needs to be some emotion and goals behind the statement. When I use the statement, ‘I am a treaty person’, I have goals. My goals are to instil a deep respect and knowledge about treaties and treaty rights to anyone who will listen. I have spent many class time hours working with my students on who treaty people are and what it means to be a treaty person. I have spent many hours explaining to my family and friends that they are treaty people and attempting to rid them of misconceptions regarding treaties. Dealing with misconceptions is not something that will ever end in my lifetime. They are too deeply rooted in the thoughts and beliefs of my grandparents’ generation, my parents’ generation, and even my own generation. Sharing the truth about treaties and treaty rights is a process. It is a journey that so many educators are on at this very moment. And while any little bit of knowledge being passed on is a good thing, always remember that that saying, that statement, “I am a treaty person”, needs the emotion and the respect backing it. If it doesn’t, it will just turn into an over-used phrase with no feeling or meaning attached to it.

Traditional Teachings

Last week I took part in a traditional women’s pipe ceremony. This spiritual interaction provided me with inner peace, pride, and clarity. I left feeling at peace with myself; all of my anxieties were washed away. I left feeling proud that I was able to be a part of something so powerful and impactful. And, I left with a clear mind, ready to reflect.

This particular pipe ceremony was led by a very knowledgeable woman. Every word she spoke was like a spell. Everyone’s eyes and ears were on her, listening to every word or thought she provided us with. Her pride and spiritual confidence were contagious. I felt honoured to be in her presence.

In regards to treaties, pipe ceremonies show the deep respect, the relationships, and the spirituality of the promises. When participating in pipe ceremonies there is an unwritten rule book on being respectful. This respect is seen in wearing a skirt or blanket, in listening silently, and in following appropriate protocol. This respect should be translated into how treaties are seen and treated, and how those involved in the treaties are treated. In my opinion, there is a lack of respect between those who are a part of the treaties – AKA all Canadians. Pipe ceremonies are built upon the relationships between the peoples involved, Mother Earth, and the objects required. There is a strong relationship between the participants and the pipe, the tobacco, the Earth, and the additional materials used. These relationships are built on respect and understanding. There are also strong relationships between the Elder(s) and those involved in the ceremony. This relationship, in my opinion, is the foundation of all Indigenous cultures. I feel that relationships are very important to any culture or community, but the emphasis is missing in many. Indigenous groups always give such an emphasis on their relationships with others, young and old, with Mother Earth, and with their spirituality. First Nations groups translate this value into their ceremonies and how they see the treaties. The relationships, past, present, and future, with the treaties and those involved, are sacred to Indigenous groups who signed them. But, it shouldn’t stop there, everyone who lives on Canadian soil should see the treaties as sacred. Lastly, pipe ceremonies are sacred and offer spiritual guidance to those involved. This idea of spirituality was very important when First Nations peoples entered into the treaties. That spirituality was very often forgotten by the others that signed the treaties. Instead, the treaties were seen only as written documents. In reality, the treaties are a living promise which is spiritual in nature.

Should they be called schools?

Last week I had the chance to participate in my second blanket exercise. For anyone who has been a part of this activity, you know how informational and emotional it can be. In regards to information, there is so much history and explanation given from pre-contact to residential schools, to treaties, to Shannon’s dream. Lots of the information went right over my head and I know that next time I participate other information will stick out to me. That is the thing with the blanket exercise. Your take-away changes each time. You are shocked and disgusted for a new reason every time.

Emotionally, I was drained. The images of smallpox blankets, of the 60’s scoop, or the residential school system stuck with me. The feeling of someone losing a child, even though that child was taken to a place that was supposed to be beneficial, hurts my heart. Instead of going to an institution to get the developmental support that children need and deserve, but instead were forced to a life of abuse. At a school! Of all places, a school. I do not even want to call the residential schools by the name school. No, a school is where I go to make lives better, to comfort, to encourage, to guide, to support. Residential schools shouldn’t be called by that name. They put every other school to shame. There are plenty more words that I can think of calling that disgusting place.

The blanket exercise is an excellent way to teach children about what we, the Europeans, have put Indigenous peoples through. It is engaging, it pulls at your heartstrings, it is interactive, and it is visual. All of these aspects make it the memorable experience that it is.

I am very interested in knowing if there are other versions of the blanket exercise to do with younger students. I think it would be a great way for younger students to see some of the history or even the visual of land loss. But, the amount of factual information would be a bit over their heads. I think it is important to subject all students to the wrongs of Canada instead of them thinking it is a friendly, Tim Hortons drinking country with wonderful manners. Don’t get me wrong, I love this country that I call home. But, I was tricked for far too long and do not want to see others experience that feeling.

miskâsowin: where I belong

Home. The space where my family is: where I learned, where I laughed, where I loved. My current home is where my family and loved ones are. This is where I feel the happiest. I also have a couple of spaces that make me feel at home, with or without my family. That includes the farm where I grew up. Those gravel roads make my heart happy when I drive by or visit. My family no longer calls this space theirs, but to me, it is still a very important place. It is on this land that I went through the happiest and hardest times of my life. Here, I grew up, I became the person that I now am. I was also torn down – this is where my family broke apart. While I have bittersweet memories, I will always cherish those moments when my family was whole. No other space holds as many memories of happiness than that farm. Another space where I feel at home would be on my piano bench, with my fingers gently pressing the worn keys. Whether I am with my family, in the area of my previous farm, or playing my favourites on the piano, the feelings I get are the same. I feel completely and utterly stress-free, I feel proud, I cannot stop smiling, and I am overwhelmed with gratitude.

I will soon be creating a home for myself alongside my fiancé. This will be the home that my future children grow up in, discover themselves, and return to whenever they wish. If I could bottle up the feelings that I get when I feel most at home and sprinkle it around my future home, I would. Nothing compares to the feeling of home. Home is and always will be where my heart is.